Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Heart Drain

I talked to her for the first time on the pretext of her birthday (the 11th of July). I threw her a small birthday celebration so I could see her (on the 15th). We watched our first movie (The Batman Begins) in Ambi Mall on the 29th of July (and hated it). I said it to her on the 30th of July, and she msged it to me, along with a #, for the first time on the 8th of August. We took our first trip from the 19th to 22nd August to Jaipur.

And it all ended with betrayal on the 20th of October.

"Cry Me A River" - Edited. Original by Justin Timberlake.

You were my sun
You were my earth
But you didn't know all the ways I loved you
So you took a chance
And made other plans
But I bet they will come crashing down

You had your say, on what you did,
I already know, you don't even feel guilty about the kiss
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
And it don't even make you sad to know about it

You told me you loved me
Why did you leave me, all alone
Need you to tell me you need me
Need you to call me, on the phone
even though I refuse, to be used
for some time more
The bridges you've burned, I hope it's soon your turn
To cry,
Cry me a river

I hope she does cry a river one day. It will make no difference to anything, but I still hope it does happen.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Death to the CM

The CM of Kerala, V S Achuthanandan, said in press yesterday, "had it not been for Major Unnikrishnan, not even a dog would have come to his dad's home." I wish to retort in my own special way...

Son of a whore Mr. V S Achuthanandan,

I realized that the first part of your name (Achutha) translates to "untouchable". I use the term untouchable and not a politically correct one because that is exactly what you are. I hope you die a TERRIBLE death and wolves feast on your remains. I wish I could personally torture you to death. You are one of the biggest motherfuckers in the world who will sell his family for one fucking vote. That vote, my friend, you can shove in your ass when you rot in hell. I wish some day you die in one of these terrorist attacks and they take their own sweet time tearing you to pieces and burning your fuck ugly face to cinders. Your retarded brain can never comprehend the term sacrifice for the motherland.; I think that is because you sold your untouchable soul in order to get into that CM's chair. If I ever end up seeing you in person, I WILL NOT think twice about throwing away my entire future to shit by hitting you with the nearest available piece of rusted iron.


(My details are available on request, in case you want to come over to my house and get beaten to pulp)

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Ah... The Pain of Laziness

A couple of days ago I realised that I might just be the laziest person alive. This now obvious realisation hit me when I had had my bath and was wrapping my smacking new towel around myself. It turns out that the towel makers were stupid enough to make a "wrong side" of this innocent looking thing. This side apparenly had needle sharp cloth-things embedded in it. As a result, I start to feel that 'thorny snake wrapping itself around you' feeling. Now a normal reasonable person would turn the towel around and use the "right side" instead, but not me... no sirreee bob (sorry for using that horrid expression, felt right at the time!)... I proceed to calculate the amount of senseless work it would take to turn the towel around, not to mention the cold I'd feel while the towel was detached from my steaming body (I bathe with geyser-full, lava-HOT water.. so that's not metaphorical!). Realising that I'm not quite ready for that sort of hard work, I wipe myself dry with the poison ivy laden side. Now I sit here, bruised and rashed in all the wrong places, thinking this might not have been the perfect blog entry to write. But, then again, who cares.. rite? (That was a rhetorical question btw, incase u answered "Well, I Do!": I've already wasted your time so there's no point bickering, is there now?)

And a Merry Christmas to all the spammers and bots who'll spam my comments section... I love you the most of all! Hope you all get bladder infections for christmas :P

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Operation "Your-Name-Here"

Back in the days of yore (ok... maybe not that back), I remember the only news channel on Indian television sets was DD-News. It wasn't as much a channel as it was a time slot of around 9-ish in the night. Of course, the only channel in those days was DD so it didn't make that much of a difference. Then arrived cable and it was so expensive (cuz u had to buy those dish antennas yourself) that only certain high-and-mighty could afford it. Soon those idiots were using those dish-antennas to store rain-water as the cable-wallahs arrived on the scene and soon we were all friggin addicted!

Now, back to the news!

So after the corporations realised that news channels could do business, they started launching channels one after the other. Soon, out of a channel band of about 50, 10-12 were news channels. Now with so many news channels competing for the viewership, you would think that there would be quality programming when you turned the TV on.. Aaaa! Wrong Guess! I come home one day from the college to find a news channel reporting on some bozo predicting that he was going to die at 5 in the evening and half-a-dozen news channels flocking the village to see if he's right. Well, the clock strikes 5 and he's 5 kilos-heavier if anything, owing to the tons of fruits and laddoos he's had to this point from his now 100-something devotee following! So, now each news channel has a reporter trying to justify the 2-hour waste of time with reasons such as how they are unmasking hoaxes like this!

A newer trend to this idiocy is the use of the term "Operation" for every sting operation the channels are involved in. Soon, everyone realised that they aren't involved in many sting operations but the term does sound cool enough to be used over and over. So, now any news item is an operation! We have operations ranging from 'Operation Duryodhan' to 'Operation Majnu'!! Now clearly they're bound to run out of these cool (apparently) names some day. That day will see advertisers paying good money to use their names in designating these operations. So, now long from now, you'll have 'Operation Baygon' talking about how the fashion world is crazy about this new haircut. Post that era, maybe they'll have a 'SMS the most entries n get an operation named after you' contest! That wondrous day, I'll stop paying the cable guy and hang myself with the cable wire. Start SMSing now... maybe you can get your name on that news item!